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People talk about emotionally abusive relationships, but what about friendships? They are the same, sort of.

I only recently woman-ed up and told a friend of mine I wanted ‘out’ in our friendship. There are endless stories from people who have gotten out of toxic relationships, but quite hard to find ones with friends — they sneak you up from behind and surprise you when you least expect it.

Friendships are just as important as relationships, and there will always be toxic behaviour entangled in both aspects of connections.

I’ve had my share of toxic friendships over the years, but…

They are windows into reminiscence-filled magic.

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People with tattoos often say, each tattoo they have on their body has a story. Some, dates of importance, names, symbols, or phrases.

They say memories are tattoos of the heart.

Etched, memorised, remembered

My tattoos consist of small but worthy memories, some painful, some happy, or angry, but most of all are the ones I can reflect back on and laugh or cry about. Those are the ones where I don’t think will ever get replaced, or deleted. …

A name that used to give me flashbacks about us.

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I met you in an airport, in fact I didn’t know who you were entirely but you struck a chord in me from a past that I had escaped from. We had coincidentally worn matching jackets on the flight, and we said hi.

— that was the start

We exchanged a few words and spoke about mutual friendships, wrote down our Instagram accounts for a follow and perhaps a connection. We were friends, that was all it was at least for a month and a half. You came into my…

I think some will relate to this question, perhaps? A lesson on coping, healing and a path to recovery.

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Before 2016 perhaps was the darkest time of my life (it makes me seem as if I’ve lived long, which is not true). A state of depression one would call it, a recurrence of suicidal thoughts that eventually never happened. One that triggered a massive turning point and a desperate plea for help.

‘a kid’s childhood paves its own path to who they’ll turn out to be in the future.’

I think everyone has their own story to tell, perhaps a…

It’s all about experiences, right?

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I had slept over at my friends’ place during the night, slept at about 4am after rounds of drinking games and chats; and was up again at about 6am for work, knowing that I am far away from civilisation.

It had started to drizzle by the time I went outside, a large Grey backpack slinging on one side of my shoulder, my phone in my right hand and an umbrella in the other. There were no sources of transportation, only dog-walkers this early in the morning. …

It’s days like this, rainy and humid where sometimes our minds wander or our breath is stilled and all we see in front of us is a green grassland; where the wind is whispering our name.

What is Love?

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Can we experience such a foreign emotion?

Love, is vague. There’s no correct way of feeling. Each person has his or her own thoughts on love, it may be raw and vivid. If we could imagine the sense of loss and belonging all on one person, is that a form of love?

Like colors on a blank canvas.

If love was pure, innocent and spontaneous, the definition of love would not…

I’m friends with assholes, that’s one of the reasons why I don’t date my friends.

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“Why do we attract assholes?”

— that is the question.

Or, is the question; are we all assholes?

The first time you meet ‘them’, they are regular and ordinary people. That’s until you start peeling their layers of an onion, and then when you reach deep inside the core of the onion; your eyes sting and you realise ‘fuck. I’ve let another asshole enter my life.’

Majority of my close friends, are assholes. And they tell me that all the time, “Fel, don’t date an a-hole like me.”

Here’s my…

I used to think talking to strangers was a taboo, since we’ve all grown up with the term “Do not ever talk to strangers.” told to us by our parents and loved ones.

Photo by Etienne Boulanger on Unsplash

I’m an introvert.

— but chatting with a stranger is a skill.

The act of being alone brings me joy and comfort.

I enjoy walking alone, taking in the scenery and what’s around me, the people, the cars, the noise. It’s something we should all cherish around us, because some may not be able to have this luxury.

The best part of a good day, is when I get to…


Writing about feelings, emotions and whatever inspires me. “Waiting for the universe to wink in my direction.” — which i think is now.

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